never thought

I never thought I:

- would have an intern ( I interviewed TWO today!)
- would purchase Avon
- would own a horse (yep, I finally do, even though it will be for a short time in the world of horse owning)
- feel guilty eating too much junk food
- wonder what causes cellulite
- enjoy popping things (come on - don't we all find it satisfying to pop out an ingrown hair? ADMIT IT!)
- like good quality "tupperware" products
- enjoy a glass of red wine
- not argue with stupid people
- not argue with smart people
- have so many pairs of PJs
- wear high (2") heals
- "air" out my toenails like my mom says to (means no nail polish for a while)

dirty girl

I never thought this day would come, and it has. I was outside planting flowers and I noticed a teenage girl walking door to door talking to my neighbors and getting rejected each time....I was totally trapped, she had seen me and I could not hide inside my house like I usually do to prevent my awkward feelings of rejecting some sales pitch. So she approached. She asked if I would like a free carpet cleaning in one room (heck ya!)....she also mentioned that for each home that says yes, she gets 25.00 towards a scholarship. I asked her if there are any strings, do I have to purchase anything, she says no. So I agree, I think "give a kid a break". So I am imagining that this is a carpet shampooing company that will clean one room and then offer some great rate for other rooms in the near future or right now...and I might bite, I have 5 animals and happen to like clean carpets....I am actually getting kind of excited about a possible deal and some really clean carpets. The girl calls some van in the neighborhood that pulls up in a few minutes...I know immediately it is not a shampoo service, it is not that type of van. I see several young people ( late teens) in the van, another girl steps out with a large box and it all clicked, they are going to try and sell me a vaccum "OH BROTHER! what have I gotten into now" I quickly run into the bathroom and try to rub off the word "SUCKER" that is written on my forehead with a sharpie but it does not seem to want to come off because, oh yes, I have about 20 minutes left of being a "SUCKER" to go. I know I could have backed off at this point, sent her back into the van and continued gardening, but I am a little too nice and too shy and too much of a sucker to do this. I watch her use my vaccum to clean my living room carpets and then she starts her schpeel...NASA designed the outside and Porsche designed the transmission, bla bla bla, voltage, coverage, turbo, lights, bags, bla bla bla (by the way the van has left to another part of the neighborhood, she is stranded with me until she calls them to come back). Then she vaccums with this Porsche to show me all of the dirt my vaccum misses all of the time...there is a bunch and I am not surprised, it is an impressive demo, I actually warmed up to the girl, I wanted to get rid of this extra dirt too....why don't they see this brand in stores I ask...I really don't know she says....in the end I told her that I truly wish I had the $1800.00 (you can rub your eyes but it will still say $1800.00) to spend on this vaccum but I DON'T and WHO THE HECK DOES????? Awkward chit chat as I go back outside with her to finish my planting as she waits for the van, she ads some more great things about the vaccum to our conversation and I smile, tell her Good Luck as she goes. I am comforted to know that I really hate carpet and am going to change my livingroom floors within the next year or so and have had these plans for months before this van of carpet cleaners came into my life and also comforted that she told me my carpets were actually cleaner than most homes.

Total time wasted: 40 minutes.

compliment

I like compliments, everyone does....but there is a catch. I don't like when someone compliments something that theypersonally are not good at ~ for example, when someone with bad hair says " I like your hair"....GULP, "uuuuuuuh Thanks?" Then I start taking it as a piece of constructive criticism.....Sometimes these compliments affirm things for me. If I am not sure if an outfit looks good and a bad-clothing person tells me it does, then great, now I know not to wear it again. But when I do like my hair or outfit and one of these people says they like it ....I am torn, and self conscious and have no clue what to do with it.

choke

I am cooking artichokes for the first time ever, I wonder how this will pan out. My husband is at a brain damage show.....AKA boxing match. How repulsive, legalized assault...two consenting adults, makes just as much sense as prostitution, in my humble opinion that is. I am super bored tonight, tv is lousy and I don't want to do chores...Reading is more enjoyable when it is not out of boredom. My girlfriends are with their hubbies I suspect, I am too shy to call and ask them to go out. It is too windy to go riding or take a walk, I don't want to spend money so leaving the house at all is limited. Whine.

expand your heart//brain

must see: Promises
must read: Lif of Pi

glutton for torture

Yesterday my friend Juliet and I decided to meet at 8:00am to try out a new Yoga studio (note: this was 8:00am on a Saturday morning, that gets me extra points right?). Aside from the instructor introducing us as newbies, it was pretty obvious. I entered the 107.5 degree room (no exaggeration here) and experienced a few seconds of adjustment. This type of yoga ( I forget the name) is done in high heat to sweat more and have warmer muscles. A half an hour into the class I ran to the bathroom to throw-up....had the bathroom not been air conditioned, I think I would have. But my body cooled down and I felt better, so I returned to the 107.5 room to finish the second half.....at the one hour mark I started to get excited that we were going to finish soon, but she kept teaching, and kept teaching, then it hit me, the class is 1.5 hours ...but I am a warrior (one of my favorite poses) and finished this class, and plan to go back on Monday. I am hoping to not feel like barfing. Oh ya, the others in the class.....there was one guy wearing only short-shorts, bald and shiny, I saw big drops of sweat dripping off of him (gross). There were a couple other hippies in the class who were not one bit shy at making the weird breathing noises and also not shy about some noised I think were farts. I am very sore this mornings, my husband thinks that is funny since it was just "Yoga", I would pay him a million bucks to last through the class...as soon as he felt the heat he would turn around and leave.

Barf

crybaby

I am a crier now.....I never used to cry at things on TV or movies or books, but now I am a full out crier. I found myself tearing up this morning (held it back as much as I could since I had just applied my makeup) watching the Today show and Good Morning America. I watch these shows for their first 15-25 minutes before heading out the door. They were talking about the Pope being near death, they covered some of the major accomplishment he has had since being ordained, condemning the Catholics for not doing enough during the Holocaust (he worked forced-labor by the Nazis during WW2), helped end communism in Poland, praying with his attempted assassin, etc. I was beside myself. I don't even like the hierarchy of the Vatican, and am able to recognize the many mistakes of the Church, but I am sad today because a good man is dying, I am hopeful and scared of who will replace him.