anaconda

It is amazing what you can encounter while gardening; I take pride in my garden and am slowly trying to relandscape my front yard. I had two trees to plant today. I put on my grubbies and a goofy sunhat and got to work. School is out by the way, so the neighborhood kids were happily practicing skateboarding tricks on mini-ramps. Somewhere they found a small boombox and out it came. For a while the local teenager radio station was on, mildy interesting. I could feel that these 11 year olds' feeling of coolness just jumped a nitch or two. Then out come some really weird mix CD, must be from a parent...cuz it just took me back. First song I noticed was "It wasn't me" by shaggy...now were these boys even alive when this song was made? But each rep of "it was't me" they looked at the ground and shook their little heads and said that line. They felt the meaning deep in their hearts as over and over they would strut and shake their heads. I chuckled to myself and keep digging. It gets better....next song....Baby Got Back by Sir Mix Alot. They knew all of the words and felt those in their hearts too. I began to feel self conscious my bottom was bent over and in full view but I secretly wanted to go over and shake my butt at them like they do in the video just to freak them out (my butt is famous by the way, more on that later)...I simply continue to mulch. Then comes the anaconda line...remember its "My anaconda don't want none unless you've got buns hun"...They all sing this line and then one boy asks "what's an anaconda"....HAHAHAHA...too funny, this whole scene is so entertaining. They move through the CD, I hear Brown Eyed Girl, I get excited, they keep moving and finally for the grand finale: Cherry Pie by Warrent, my world zooms back to grade 8 at Canadian Martyrs. What a trip. I am desperatly curious as to how they got a hold of this music AND why they like it.

I feel queezy

the opposite of a compliment



I was walking into Sams...there was a car idling in the fire lane outside the entrance. I recognized the guy in the car...he goes to my church. He is in his forties I think and gives me the creeps, no good reason, just women's intuition. He waved for me to come over, I think he needs directions...or maybe he recognizes me. So I go to his car and he says "Oh, I was just waving for you to cross"

"Okay" I say and begin to walk.

"Nice to meet you, have a nice day" he says. I smile and nod. I feel dumb...but realize he totally did not do the "cross the street" wave, it was a "come here, I need directions" wave, he clearly does not know wave etiquette....

I move on, a little creeped out. As I view the jute rugs I have been eyeing for weeks, I get a tap on the shoulder. It is him. He says "my name is __________. What is yours?" I tell him. He says "Well I wanted to introduce myself, it is nice to see a friendly face" He is shaking my hand the whole time. He makes a very indiscreet glance at my left ring finger...which has my wedding ring. It is not traditional, but correct finger which means I have a big burly husband. "Are you a student?" he asks, "Nope, I am all grown up" I say, not wanting to volunteer any extra information." He looks at my ring again. "Are you married?" "Yes" I reply. "Well, nice meeting you" and he walks off. I totally had the willies. I feel guilty for having the willies, but he was totally creepy, and he is OLD. There is sexy old and gross old. Maybe if he had been, oh, let's say George Clooney, I would have over looked the age difference. And he thought I was a student, extra creepy. What if I was not married, would he have asked me to dinner? Gross.

Why couldn't cute young guys ask me if I am married?

just to make you feel better

I just found the best website. When pretty people on TV or in magazines are impacting your self perception, just visit this site What a reality check. I cannot wait to show this to 11 year old girls, maybe I can undo some MTV damage.